on warmth (workplace edition)
Before we begin, here’s what I listened to when writing this:
the ideal first job
In my final year of university, I came up with a checklist to shortlist the key things that my ideal first job should have. Of course, I didn't expect myself to find something that checked all the boxes, but that was beside the point. The point was, to identify the things that mattered to me in a job.
So here was my checklist back in 2022. Ideally, at my first job out of university:
My work is interesting to me. For something to be interesting to me, it has to be (1) related to healthcare and/or public health policy and (2) be impactful in some way.
My workplace invests in professional growth and development. This means that the company spends time/money in my training, sends me for courses and ideally, further studies. I'm definitely not talking about companies that only rely on 'personal initiative' and 'your growth is what you make it to be' narratives.
My workplace is international. Having come from a multidisciplinary major, and having worked with international teams, I really value learning from people with lived experiences different from mine.
My colleagues inspire me. Although this is pretty open-ended, I knew that I wanted to work with people who were passionate about what they do, competent at their craft and had a zest for life.
At that point in time, these four things really just translated to: I want to work at a place with a high chance of professional and personal growth, while simultaneously being fulfilling and fun for me. These were the things that I paid attention to.
warmth wasn’t on the list
Luckily for me, I did find a place that scored pretty high on this list. Recently, having hit my one-year work anniversary, I looked back at how working here has made me feel. When it came to the people that I had worked with, I’d expected to find role models in colleagues who were ambitious, diligent, and possessed a high level of technical skill. And while I did (for I've lost count of the number of times I nodded in absolute admiration and respect for someone else’s competence), I was completely and thoroughly moved by another precious quality: warmth.
I did not expect was how drawn I was to people who displayed consistent qualities of tenderness or approachability, or the rare combination of both. I was captivated with people who exuded warmth. For instance, I admired N's ability to respond in ways that could make one feel so thoroughly supported, so much that they feel doubly inspired to return the favour. I was impressed by R's effort to connect personally, going so far as to inquire about my goals so that she can offer feedback in line with them. I enjoyed being around F, who always made me feel so at ease, and as though I could accomplish anything. I admired those who were nurturing, those who remembered that they have learned things that others haven't, and then practised patience. Literally me every time: 🥺🥺🥺
In a fast-paced work environment where people are constantly performing at a high level, I realised that there is just something so precious about the desire to be compassionate and to make others feel safe (note: I’m not talking about roles/environments where emotional labour is predominantly exchanged for money). The emphasis here is also on effort, on remembering, because when tensions run high, it's so easy to strip warmth away, especially when it isn’t a quality that is outwardly rewarded. The above interactions were so precious to me that I found myself aspiring to be as sincere and personable as possible, because I so appreciated that from others. I wanted to magnify this tenderness and ensure that those around me could feel the same cosiness that I felt, especially during periods when this support is needed the most.
This then led me to think: okay, so what about the four other things on my checklist that I thought so important at the start? One year on, I’m not gushing about how fantastic the training sessions were, how meaningful the work was, and how inspiring my colleagues’ work ethics were, although those scored really high points in my book. My dedicating this article to warmth is also an important note to file away for myself: in a year filled with growing pains of adjusting to the workplace (I think many peers might be able to relate to the exponential learning curves, high workloads, adjusting to new workplace cultures), warmth was oftentimes the necessary ingredient for me to enjoy the very things I was looking for at work. Warmth turned out to be my enabler.
But warmth alone, is not sufficient to be successful in a workplace that meets criteria 1 to 4. Indeed, it is not something that directly contributes to the company’s bottom line, and therefore, not incentivised. You can lack warmth, and still be plenty successful. The most important traits are ultimately being competent, effective, a great team player, and ultimately, great at bringing in the profits. If you’re able to do all that, and still practice warmth (which I think, by then, it’d probably be a core part of your work ethic), you’d be even more successful - we all deeply respect people who can do it all!
✿
At my current position, being warm is a bonus. It is secondary to becoming technically competent. But over the past year, I’ve learned that this bonus means a lot to me. It takes effort to be warm. It takes courage and sincerity to build it into your work ethics. It encourages, uplifts and soothes. And I really, really, want to put in that effort. For I, too, want to enable and encourage.
warmest,
shiying